I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
