I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
