im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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