im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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