tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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