I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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