i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize