I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
