Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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