apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize