I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
