Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
