marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
17 year olds will be the death of me.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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