we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
