i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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