she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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