It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
