I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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