proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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