your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Man, jail baloney is awful.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
