Where did you get a picture of my penis
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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