well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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