Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
