I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Randomize
