Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
She announced her abortion via fbk
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
