what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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