Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Never joke about your clitoris.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
