they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
