Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
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