Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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