I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
