What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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