So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
