Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize