So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
