end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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