We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
