when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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