before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
