Midget sex pt 2 tonight
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
