so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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