I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
