Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
