He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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