And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize