He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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