i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
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Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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