we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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