So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
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she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
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I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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