Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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