You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize