she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
