Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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