So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
