she was so not down for the gang bang
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
