her facebook's as public as her vagina
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
