do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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