just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
We had to coat check the pizza.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
