You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
