You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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