WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Boobs speak an international language.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
