Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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