Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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