Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
