Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
