She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
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So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
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I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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